Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, and so hypnotizing
I am captivated,
Friday, November 21, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
With a heavy heart
I think my life can be summed up into one sad word: goodbye.
Firstly just as I'm getting close to my friends are Baharain its time to say goodbye to them and move to India. After taking forever to settle down and fine the perfect friends, its time to say goodbye to them and move to Singapore.
And heaven knows since coming to Singapore I've said more goodbyes then i think my heart can even take.
You would think one would learn to not get attached to things so easily but how sad is it to live your life loving nothing because you would have to say goodbye to them?
Last day at the HC hostel. I still remember my first day here. How much i hated the whole thing, i remember the rain and the prison-like lifts. i remember not being sure i remembered how to navigate to my room through the long yellow corridors.
I remember staying up the whole night, not being able to cry or think. Just so angry and so sad.
I remember how i hated it so much and i remember going to school and realizing i hated school even more.
That's when hostel became home. How i would run from school the minute the bell rang to come back "home".
And now 2 years have gone by and i cant seem to place my finger on the exact day when school became like heaven and hostel became like home. Like a real home.
When the harsh faces became friends and the long corridors became short.
When the suffocatingly perfect interiors of the hostel became places i couldn't look at without conjuring up some memory.
And now its time to say goodbye again.
And to all my J2 seniors. I cant tell you how much ill miss you all. Its meant the world to me to have you by my side. Helping me with studies, guys, girls. ha ha
I know this is the end of our journey together and i also know that no matter what people say about being "friends forever" there is actually no such term. Trust me, i know about this better than anyone else.
And as ill say goodbye to you guys today ill turn and look at the faces of the IP3's and JC1's and realize that next year ill be saying goodbye to them too.
Sometimes i wonder if someone will feel this way when i leave. I wonder if its just as hard for everyone else to say goodbye to things as it is for me.
But i thank God for the fact that i feel so horrid while saying goodbye.It goes to show that at least in lucky enough to have memories strong enough and happy enough to bring tears to my eyes when i have to leave them behind.
I sat on the ledge hanging outside my window for the longest time last night. (yes i know i can fall off and break all the bones in my body. thanks) And i looked at the hostel from high up on the sixth storey and preserved the picture in my mind.
Hopefully every time i need it, i can close my eyes again and conjure up the same calm i felt last night.
Thank you to everything I'm leaving behind this year.
I promise to remember all of you, the best and the worst. And i promise to always keep you in my prayers.
And i can only hope that what we remember of each other is enough to make us want to keep in touch.
Goodbye again.
Firstly just as I'm getting close to my friends are Baharain its time to say goodbye to them and move to India. After taking forever to settle down and fine the perfect friends, its time to say goodbye to them and move to Singapore.
And heaven knows since coming to Singapore I've said more goodbyes then i think my heart can even take.
You would think one would learn to not get attached to things so easily but how sad is it to live your life loving nothing because you would have to say goodbye to them?
Last day at the HC hostel. I still remember my first day here. How much i hated the whole thing, i remember the rain and the prison-like lifts. i remember not being sure i remembered how to navigate to my room through the long yellow corridors.
I remember staying up the whole night, not being able to cry or think. Just so angry and so sad.
I remember how i hated it so much and i remember going to school and realizing i hated school even more.
That's when hostel became home. How i would run from school the minute the bell rang to come back "home".
And now 2 years have gone by and i cant seem to place my finger on the exact day when school became like heaven and hostel became like home. Like a real home.
When the harsh faces became friends and the long corridors became short.
When the suffocatingly perfect interiors of the hostel became places i couldn't look at without conjuring up some memory.
And now its time to say goodbye again.
And to all my J2 seniors. I cant tell you how much ill miss you all. Its meant the world to me to have you by my side. Helping me with studies, guys, girls. ha ha
I know this is the end of our journey together and i also know that no matter what people say about being "friends forever" there is actually no such term. Trust me, i know about this better than anyone else.
And as ill say goodbye to you guys today ill turn and look at the faces of the IP3's and JC1's and realize that next year ill be saying goodbye to them too.
Sometimes i wonder if someone will feel this way when i leave. I wonder if its just as hard for everyone else to say goodbye to things as it is for me.
But i thank God for the fact that i feel so horrid while saying goodbye.It goes to show that at least in lucky enough to have memories strong enough and happy enough to bring tears to my eyes when i have to leave them behind.
I sat on the ledge hanging outside my window for the longest time last night. (yes i know i can fall off and break all the bones in my body. thanks) And i looked at the hostel from high up on the sixth storey and preserved the picture in my mind.
Hopefully every time i need it, i can close my eyes again and conjure up the same calm i felt last night.
Thank you to everything I'm leaving behind this year.
I promise to remember all of you, the best and the worst. And i promise to always keep you in my prayers.
And i can only hope that what we remember of each other is enough to make us want to keep in touch.
Goodbye again.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
the laughter day
Today i shall break my usual style of NOT writing about my day on my blog. It was one of those days which start out utterly ordinary and take such a turn half-way through you know youre never gonna forget it.
So around 1:30 me and Lakshmi were sitting together attempting and failing sadly, to study. Suddenly Sara called and asked us when these free tix we got frm sch were expiring and we guy realized tday was like the last day. So being utterly cheapo as we are, we abandoned our "studies" and like any pure blooded hosteler would, went to catch the movie.
Despite the fact that the crappiest movies were on and that practically all show times didnt suit us, Lakshi and me got dressed, got late, and cabbed all the way to Cathay. Which cost us 10 bucks. Haha
But guess what?
Me: "what shows are available at 3?"
Lady at counter: "um Blah Blah Blah and Blah"
Me: "Okay we'll um watch blah?"
and just as im about to book the tix and take out the free voucher lakshmi pulled me aside and told me she jus realized out tix were golden V and we guys were um NOT at golden V
ARGHHHHHH
Embarassing.to.the.core
srsly i dont think im ever going cathay again.
so well we run, take another cab, run some more and reach plaza sing, and in the nick of time make it to Shutter. Sara was shit scared just looking at the posters.
So we all sit down, after a lot of commotion and dropping like half our popcorn everwhere.
The movie is effin hilarious. its not even scary. its not even remotley jump-in-your-seat scary.
And i laughed through it. i mean seriously. I was like seriously cackling. I think my laughter was more scary than the whole movie combined.
And it didnt help that Sara was screaming and laughing at the same time.
So after the movie:
Sara: "So the dead chick slept with Ben?"
Me: "The dead chick slept with jane?"
Sara: "No ben slept with jane and the dead chick also slept with Ben"
Lakshmi: "WHAT? Ben slept with Jerry? Ben and Jerry slept together? They're gay?"
I swear to god, she wasnt even kidding. i swear.
Gosh i laughed so hard i just sat in the aisle and laughed and laughed and laughed till the coke toppled over.
She was freaking serious.
Sara: "So she just sits on his shoulder forever, thats why he had the kink?"
Me:"yeah, kinky man"
Lakshmi gives us both a blank look
five secs later
Lakshmi: "ooooh. kinky, like kink and kinky cux they slept tgt!! AHAHAHAHAHA"
On the bus on our way back to hostel, Maggi and Me was lk playing on tht Tv thing
So sara goes like 'why is tht chick always wearing the wedding dress?'
Lakshmi: "Oh cause shez a dick"
Sara: "shez a DICK?"
LAkshmi :"i mean shez a dead"
Sara: "Shez a dead dick?!"
OMG. guys.
hats off to you. you're friggin hilarious.
but seriously what is the deal with Ben and Jerry?
It is kinda gay if you think about it. Maybe they do sleep tgt. hmm
Oh screw. I jus super-glued my finger tgt.
SHIT. Does super glue even come off?
Darn
So around 1:30 me and Lakshmi were sitting together attempting and failing sadly, to study. Suddenly Sara called and asked us when these free tix we got frm sch were expiring and we guy realized tday was like the last day. So being utterly cheapo as we are, we abandoned our "studies" and like any pure blooded hosteler would, went to catch the movie.
Despite the fact that the crappiest movies were on and that practically all show times didnt suit us, Lakshi and me got dressed, got late, and cabbed all the way to Cathay. Which cost us 10 bucks. Haha
But guess what?
Me: "what shows are available at 3?"
Lady at counter: "um Blah Blah Blah and Blah"
Me: "Okay we'll um watch blah?"
and just as im about to book the tix and take out the free voucher lakshmi pulled me aside and told me she jus realized out tix were golden V and we guys were um NOT at golden V
ARGHHHHHH
Embarassing.to.the.core
srsly i dont think im ever going cathay again.
so well we run, take another cab, run some more and reach plaza sing, and in the nick of time make it to Shutter. Sara was shit scared just looking at the posters.
So we all sit down, after a lot of commotion and dropping like half our popcorn everwhere.
The movie is effin hilarious. its not even scary. its not even remotley jump-in-your-seat scary.
And i laughed through it. i mean seriously. I was like seriously cackling. I think my laughter was more scary than the whole movie combined.
And it didnt help that Sara was screaming and laughing at the same time.
So after the movie:
Sara: "So the dead chick slept with Ben?"
Me: "The dead chick slept with jane?"
Sara: "No ben slept with jane and the dead chick also slept with Ben"
Lakshmi: "WHAT? Ben slept with Jerry? Ben and Jerry slept together? They're gay?"
I swear to god, she wasnt even kidding. i swear.
Gosh i laughed so hard i just sat in the aisle and laughed and laughed and laughed till the coke toppled over.
She was freaking serious.
Sara: "So she just sits on his shoulder forever, thats why he had the kink?"
Me:"yeah, kinky man"
Lakshmi gives us both a blank look
five secs later
Lakshmi: "ooooh. kinky, like kink and kinky cux they slept tgt!! AHAHAHAHAHA"
On the bus on our way back to hostel, Maggi and Me was lk playing on tht Tv thing
So sara goes like 'why is tht chick always wearing the wedding dress?'
Lakshmi: "Oh cause shez a dick"
Sara: "shez a DICK?"
LAkshmi :"i mean shez a dead"
Sara: "Shez a dead dick?!"
OMG. guys.
hats off to you. you're friggin hilarious.
but seriously what is the deal with Ben and Jerry?
It is kinda gay if you think about it. Maybe they do sleep tgt. hmm
Oh screw. I jus super-glued my finger tgt.
SHIT. Does super glue even come off?
Darn
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Its 3:30 AM and im still not asleep.
Do you know why? Its because of you. Im so worried about you
When are you going to get everything together?
I see you waste away everyday of your life..letting it pass by as though its not worth living.
why?
i can see it so clearly..why cant you see how amazing you are? and how far you can go.
You can have everything you ever wanted..all you need to do is let yourself have it.
What are you so scared of? Tell me everything. Im still right here for you..i never left you..and your pain kills me inside..keeps me up at night.
But what makes me feel ever worse is the way you push me out. Let me in. Please. I can help you. I want to help you. You know i would give myself up if it could save you.
Im still here. Inside you. I never abandoned you..and no matter who abandons you i will still always be here. Let me take you hand. Let me be the shoulder you can cry on. Let me make you strong
I know what you think..you think im gone forever. You think its all over..like it never even existed. But the truth is that it did.
Dont do this to yourself. And if you dont care about yourself then think of it this way: dont do this to me. Because every wound you inflict upon yourself is felt by me too.
All i ask for you is to let me in.
The only thing worse than seeing you destroy yourself is being locked outside your life and watching you crumble like a spectator. And i cant do that.
You're the only one i ever believed in.
I love you
Do you know why? Its because of you. Im so worried about you
When are you going to get everything together?
I see you waste away everyday of your life..letting it pass by as though its not worth living.
why?
i can see it so clearly..why cant you see how amazing you are? and how far you can go.
You can have everything you ever wanted..all you need to do is let yourself have it.
What are you so scared of? Tell me everything. Im still right here for you..i never left you..and your pain kills me inside..keeps me up at night.
But what makes me feel ever worse is the way you push me out. Let me in. Please. I can help you. I want to help you. You know i would give myself up if it could save you.
Im still here. Inside you. I never abandoned you..and no matter who abandons you i will still always be here. Let me take you hand. Let me be the shoulder you can cry on. Let me make you strong
I know what you think..you think im gone forever. You think its all over..like it never even existed. But the truth is that it did.
Dont do this to yourself. And if you dont care about yourself then think of it this way: dont do this to me. Because every wound you inflict upon yourself is felt by me too.
All i ask for you is to let me in.
The only thing worse than seeing you destroy yourself is being locked outside your life and watching you crumble like a spectator. And i cant do that.
You're the only one i ever believed in.
I love you
Friday, March 14, 2008
aaah *stupidgrin*
gahh..im in love with this song..
omg.
Im in love with lifehouse.
i swear to god..if a guy sang this to me i would melt into a gooey puddle right there and then
You Belong to Me - Jason Wade
see the pyramids around the Nile
watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
just remember darling all the while -
you belong to me
see the marketplace in old Angier
send me photographs and souvenirs
just remember when a dream appears -
you belong to me
and I'll be so alone without you
maybe you'll be lonesome too
fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when it's wet with rain
just remember till you're home again -
you belong to me
oh I'll be so alone without you
maybe you'll be lonesome too
fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when it's wet with rain
just remember till you're home again -
you belong to me
oh yes..gooey-chitra-puddle comming right up
omg.
Im in love with lifehouse.
i swear to god..if a guy sang this to me i would melt into a gooey puddle right there and then
You Belong to Me - Jason Wade
see the pyramids around the Nile
watch the sunrise from a tropic isle
just remember darling all the while -
you belong to me
see the marketplace in old Angier
send me photographs and souvenirs
just remember when a dream appears -
you belong to me
and I'll be so alone without you
maybe you'll be lonesome too
fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when it's wet with rain
just remember till you're home again -
you belong to me
oh I'll be so alone without you
maybe you'll be lonesome too
fly the ocean in a silver plane
see the jungle when it's wet with rain
just remember till you're home again -
you belong to me
oh yes..gooey-chitra-puddle comming right up
Friday, March 7, 2008
"Kiss Me"
Kiss Me- Sixpence None The Richer
Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me
Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me
Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me
Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me
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